Parenthood

Some days I ask myself how I went from being a single woman in my late 20’s to the mother of a pre-teen almost overnight. I fell in love, that’s how. But falling in love did not prepare me for raising an almost teenager. I haven’t had 11 years to work up to this point, I’ve had three years!! Three years!!! Then again, I’m learning that nothing prepares you for your child’s attitude changes when they hit fifth grade. I’ve had friends and relatives tell me that the maturity and independence that hits in fifth grade is so remarkable that you will sit back in awe. When? When will that happen? My son has 3 more months of fifth grade and we’re going backwards instead of forwards.

Last night when I tucked my sweet boy in, he was in a bad mood. He had his face covered with Tiger, his favorite stuffed animal, and had his back to me. I climbed into bed with him, began rubbing his back, and starting talking. I talked about how important it is to talk to his parents about things going on in his life…how sometimes just talking will make everything seem better. I told him about a comment I read years ago in the Sunday paper and has always stuck with me. It said that people tend to treat strangers with more respect then their loved ones. There is so much truth to that observation. We forget to say please and thank you to the individuals in our house but we are always polite to the barista at our favorite coffee stop or the checkout clerk at the grocery store. If someone at the office asks, “how is your day?” We answer with a smile and talk about the positive and always return the question. If someone at home asks that same question, we state every thing bad that happened from hitting snooze one too many times to burning dinner. Or even worse, we give a one word answer like “fine” and don’t return the question. I know that I’m guilty of this and it’s something that I remind myself of daily because the people that I love deserve the most respect that I can give. I am not entitled to their respect, I have to earn it each day and to earn it, I have to show it in return. Just like love…no one is entitled to it, we have to earn it and keep earning it daily. I hope some of what I said sunk into my little boy’s head and if not, I’ll just keep talking until it does.